10 Ways To Annoy Your Snape
by We Love Lash and Warren
Summary: Having just purchased your brand new Snape... We ofer some helpful suggestions to make the most out of your new investment!


**10 Ways to Annoy Your Snape**

You are now the owner of your very own Snape. First, take out vaguely sharp knife/box cutter and gently cut open the box, unless… Unless you have purchased the Gay Snape… In this case you shall have to use a much sharper knife/box cutter because we have taken the necessary precaution of wrapping him more securely in his box to ensure he does not escape.

What to do with your new Snape, you ask? Well, for the most fun you should take the time to genuinely annoy your Snape, whether it be the Straight or Gay model. Failing to come up with ways to annoy your Snape? That's why we're here, Ashley and Amber, to give you a head start into the wonderful world of Snape-y-ness.

Here's 10 inventive ways to genuinely annoy your Snape for hours of fun time enjoyment…

1.Call him cute.

2.Pat him on his adorable head.

_A Word from our Sponsors:_

"_Hey Amber, look what I just got in the mail!"_

"_What?"_

"_My very own Snape!!"_

"_Oh dear, not one of those things…"_

"_Aww… But it's so cute!!" Ashley pats her Snape on his head._

"_Uh… Ashy… I don't think that's such a good idea."_

"_Why not?"_

"_He's glaring at y_ou and hiding a knife behind his back…"

3.Kick him in the nuts repeatedly.

4.Give him a Harry doll that says 7 and a half action phrases!

A)I LURVE you, Snape!

B)I want to have your babies, Snape!

C)Will you marry me, Snape?

D)Can I poke your tummy, Snape?

E)Why wont you love me like you used to, Snape?

F)Would you like a Tostito, Snape? Or Possibly a Cheez-It?

G)Touch me and make me feel good again, Snape!

H)Snape!

These, of course, only apply if you have the Straight model. These are Harry's action phrases if you own the Gay model…

A)Do you want my pictures of Hermione without her skirt, Snape?

B)Would you like a picture of Draco naked, Snape?

C)Would you like Ginny to have _detention_ again, Snape?

D)Can I poke your tummy, Snape?

E)Professor McGonagal _wants _you, Snape!

F)Would you like a Tostito, Snape? Or possibly a Cheez-It?

G)My Gaydar is going off, Snape… Something you want to share with the class, Snape?

H)Snape!

5.Hug your Snape.

6.Steal your Snape's robes and charm them pink, and turn the trousers into skirts.

_And Now, Another word from our Sponsors:_

"_I want to REBEL against the word TROUSERS being used in this instruction manual!"_

"_Amber, cut it out! It sounds professional!"_

"_It sounds lame, that's what it sounds like! Use "pants" like every other person!"_

"_No! "Trousers" totally Oxy-Pwn "pants"!!!!"_

"_One thing, there is no such thing as "Oxy-Pwn" and I'm burning all the trousers!"_

"_Jake made up the word Oxy-Pwn!!! Go yell at him!"_

"_Fine!! Jake!!!!!!!!"_

"_What? How the hell did I end up here?!" Jake_

"_Never… and I mean NEVER use the word Oxy-Pwn again!… Or Trousers…!"_

"_Trousers? Who the hell says trousers?!"_

_Amber points to Ashley, "Her!"_

_Jake shakes head…"N00b…"_

7.Take Snape's job as Defense Against the Dark Arts.

8.Make his nose bigger. But don't squeeze it… Soda will immediately start oozing out… Small glitch we couldn't fix.

9.Perform foolish wand waving and silly incantations in his classroom.

And finally, the best thing we could come up with to annoy any Snape… Drum roll please…!

10.Force your Snape to watch Dumbledore's Nake-y Time! (For reference please watch Potter Puppet Pals)

11.Eleven? There is no eleven… why is this here? Nevermind!

12.There is certainly no twelve…

13.Aww… Come on this is ridiculous!

Better… And now that you know how to have endless hours of Snape annoying…

_A Word from Our Sponsors:_

"_I got nothin'"_

"_jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj" Amber_

"_Uh... well… this is awkward… Nake-y Time!!!"_

"_How's about no."_

We are glad you have purchased our one of a kind Snape or Gay Snape… Have fun .

Just a side note: Gay Harry doll sold separately… and no, there is no Straight model, that would be unrealistic!


End file.
